Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Being a good person is not easy. Being uncaring and forgetful might seem more convenient, but when one is a good person, consideration of the wants and needs of others is a mandatory life sentence and it proves to be harder than it seems. The hardest part of being good, is that one's virtuousness is rarely appreciated. It is either taken for granted and good people find themselves constantly getting called upon to do favours for others, or the virtuous person is perceived as being an interfering busy body who should really just tend to their own affairs. But that's the best thing about good people, they are always good people, regardless of how others treat or view them. Recently it was my neighbour's birthday, and even though I had no money to buy her a present, I thought it would be good to do something nice for her. After all, that is what good people do for their nice neighbours.
She likes to get her hair done, but her current employment situation sadly means that she can't get it done as often as she'd like. Fortunately for her I happen to own a comb and scissors. I have no experience in cutting hair, but as I've had so many bad haircuts over the years, I had a fair idea of what not to do. So using the best clip art the internet has to offer, I put together a special gift coupon for her and slipped it under her door. Not only was it thoughtful and custom made, it was also waaay cheaper than buying a card. And as I don't own a colour printer, being in black and white would give it instant classy tastefulness. Good work!
A few days passed and she still hadn't taken me up on my offer. After re-examining my handiwork, I realised that there was no way she could tell it was from me; any creepy weirdo could have slipped it under her door. So to set her mind at ease I texted her saying: "Hey, how are you getting on, when are you coming round to get your hair done?" Quite a while later she replied: "Thanks very much for your kind offer, but I'd rather not trouble you. Hope you're keeping well." I instantly got back to her with: "It's no trouble at all, this is what neighbours do for each other, right? ;P." There was no reply to this, so I'm guessing that she underestimates my kindness, as well as my willingness to make tea and sweep up the cuttings afterwards. It looks like the mountain will have to call round and cut Mohammad's hair.
It would be crass to turn up on someone's doorstep brandishing a scissors trying to foist a haircut upon them. Being the good neighbour that I am, she gave me a spare key, should she ever find herself locked out. This would really give my thoughtful present the edge it needs, the element of surprise! Things didn't go as smoothly as I had planned. Sure I got in to her flat, and then into her bedroom without waking her, but it wasn't long before it came apparent why hairdressers don't work on clients while they are lying down in the dark. Holding my phone in my mouth as a hands-free illumination device, I did the best I could with the hair that was easy to get at, but when I tried to gently pry out the hair that was being slept on, she awoke suddenly and started flailing and screaming. I wanted to calm her down, to explain exactly what was going on and why she was overreacting, that if she would just let me finish everything would be alright, but that would mean dropping my phone and I've cracked more screens that way.
So her haircut remains unfinished like the symphony it is and she asked me to return her spare key. My landlord just texted saying he's on his way over as he wants talk to me. I have no idea what this could be about, it's probably because he recognises what a good person I am that he feels he can talk to me about anything.